PENSACOLA, FLA. — Fordham University senior Colby McCaskill won the grand prize in NPR's College Podcast Challenge for an audio letter to his grandparents that examines his grandmother's dementia. Judges said the episode stood out from hundreds of entries for its intimacy and vulnerability.
The winning entry centers on Kathy and Dick McCaskill, his grandparents in the Florida Panhandle, where the three held hands on a screened-in porch overlooking the Intracoastal Waterway during the recording. Kathy McCaskill, a retired teacher, struggles to remember names, her age and how to perform basic tasks, including turning off an electric toothbrush after switching it on or shutting off running water. Dick McCaskill, a retired healthcare executive, has taken on a supporting role as her memory has declined.
Colby McCaskill said he turned to the podcast format because he could not raise the subject directly with his grandparents. "I was a little scared to talk about it," he said. "If there's no medical solution for it, then what would talking about it do?"
He framed the project as a way to communicate feelings he had been holding back. "Being with my grandparents is like a warm hug," he said. "[The podcast] was an opportunity to get my thoughts down and to make it clear: This is what I'm thinking and this is how I'm feeling and I want you to know this."
In the recording, he addressed his grandfather about the progression of the illness. "I'm sure you know out of everyone how her dementia has been progressing," he said. "How she can't remember my name or her age." Kathy McCaskill responded by trying to recall her age. "I think right now, I am like … I'm like … 47 years old, that's how old," she said.
She also described the experience of losing her train of thought. "Now, I started to say something, and then I can't remember," she said. "But it is a little scary, honey, that when I walk in, and I'm going to do something, and then I can't remember what I was supposed to start talking about." Coloring helps calm her anxiety and stimulate cognition.
Dick McCaskill said the diagnosis required adjustment. "Hearing the word is sort of like a cold cup of water thrown in your face," he said. "And you realize, well, it's a fact. That's what we're dealing with." He said he had returned to the recording repeatedly: "I've listened to the podcast four or five times, and it brings tears every time I hear it."
When his grandson suggested the changes might create distance between the couple, his grandfather disagreed. "Yeah, but truly it's getting, on many levels, better and sweeter," Dick McCaskill said.